Make text larger   A | A | A

How to connect with your Grandchildren

No thumbnail specified
 When your grandchildren were babies, all you had to do was hold them and make funny faces and they loved you.  As they grew into toddlers, just getting down on the ground and playing silly games with them was enough to make you their hero.  Even when they were primary school age, as long as you paid them attention and thought the world of them, they worshipped you back.
But now that they're in the pre-teen or teenage years, it's become... well... more difficult to connect with them.  These teens or tweens don't exactly make it easy, do they?  This is the age when they either clam up or turn on the sulky attitude bit.  The friendly inquisitive child may be gone temporarily, but remember that this stage will pass.  What you need to do is work a little harder on keeping a relationship going until the going gets better again.  It will get better.  Remember when your own kids went through the teenage years?

First off, you need to find out what your grandchildren are interested in right now, and don't be too slow about it because they may change their mind next month!  You probably can't come right out and ask them directly and get good answers, so you may need to talk to their parents.  Ask Mum or Dad if she's taking any extra classes, and what her favourite books, colours, tv shows, shops, actors, and films are.  Take a sneak look through his room and see how it's decorated - the colour, the posters, the magazines, the books, and the junk at the side of the bed.  Whatever you do, don't snoop, just look around and get some ideas of his interests.  

If you don't live close to the grandchildren and only see them every so often, you'll definitely need to enlist the help of the parents to find out what makes your grandchildren light up these days.  Talk to Mum on the phone before you talk to the children so you know a little about what's going on in their life and don't resort to playing 20 questions.

Next it's up to you to find some common ground.  If she's into the retro look, take her shopping at some second hand shops or charity shops.  If he likes football, take him to a local match.   If she is keen on drawing, buy both of you a sketch pad and go to the country for some quality sketch time.

Remember not to ask yes or no questions because that leads nowhere.  If you want to ask questions, ask "Who do you like better....." naming a couple of pop stars or footballers or whoever they're interested in this week. You might ask your grandaughter "Which shoes do you think look better with leggings - Ugg boots or heels?" This line of questioning can lead into why and before you know it, a real conversation could happen.

Here's a sneaky tip -
Your computer is your friend, even when your grandchildren are not.  Take a few minutes a day to check out the latest news that might interest them so you can comment on it.  You will score points if you can discuss that awful dress so and so wore to the Oscars or when you mention that amazing last second goal you saw on YouTube.  Here's where you can go online to find cool stuff worthy of teenage discussion:

www.omg.yahoo.com For any celebrity gossip.
www.YouTube.com  Take a look at the featured videos or pick a topic that might interest your grandchild.
www.yahoo.com  See search tabs front and center for featured, entertainment, sports, and video.  
www.google.com/trends  Look at the hot trends.

Yes, you have to work at it a little harder but when you make the connections, they're all the more special.  They'll also bring you and your grandchild's relationship along into adulthood where you can breathe a little easier.

Print Print this page
Free Newsletter
Signup now for hints, tips and interesting articles to help you plan for the future

I LIVE IN:

Follow us on Twitter